


Fake-Dating and Festivities

by greyswlw



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, Inappropriate Humor, M/M, Mark and Addison are frenemies, Meredith and Derek are bicons, mildly ooc?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:48:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26100682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greyswlw/pseuds/greyswlw
Summary: It's Thanksgiving at Seattle Grace Hospital. People are gay. A certain lady is coming to town.Basically, it's a disaster in the making.
Relationships: Derek Shepherd/Mark Sloan, Meredith Grey/Addison Montgomery
Comments: 11
Kudos: 43





	Fake-Dating and Festivities

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bobbiejelly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bobbiejelly/gifts).



> 1\. some facts: meredith and derek are both interns and mark and addison are 3rd year residents. also, addison is a baby dyke. the rest is pretty much as it was in season 1.
> 
> 2\. i apologise if this is very ooc? i'm a gen z lesbian, I have two guy friends and a lot of gay friends, but no gay guy friends, afaik. i just combined the way I am with my guy friends and my gay friends for the dynamic of mer/der's and mark/addie's friendships, but obviously it's probably not 100% accurate since they're adults and this is set in 2004. plus my friends and i are just weird.
> 
> 3\. regardless, i hope you enjoy. constructive criticism (about everything but the ooc-ness lol) is appreciated!

It's Meredith's first Thanksgiving as a surgical intern. It's also the first Thanksgiving she won't be spending alone.

Well, that's not completely true. As a kid, she used to spend Thanksgiving with her friend Anatomy Jane, they'd turn on the radio and sing and dance and then they'd eat Kraft mac'n'cheese for dinner. So that was really nice.

As a teen she either spent it studying, sleeping or drinking - but then again, that could've been said about every one of her high school days.

Not much changed in college and med school, except there was less sleeping and more drinking. Hookups, too, but that was beside the point.

There was Europe with Sadie, but most of the time they didn't even know what day of the week it was - she didn't even realize she had turned 25 until two weeks after she had turned 25 - and Thanksgiving wasn't that big of a thing there anyway.

Despite all that, this being the first Thanksgiving she'll be spending with actual friends and colleagues is not that big of a deal. Izzie will bake an obscene amount of pumpkin pie and George will gain like five pounds from all the stuffing he's gonna eat (and get sick from) and Cristina will bring booze and it will just be a good time.

And, well, there's the thing with Derek.

You see, despite them being best friends, she and Derek never really talk about their families. Derek is one of the three people that know about her mom, and Meredith knows his dad was killed because of a watch, and that's it.  They talk about surgery, and football, and shitty rom-coms, and pretty girls and handsome boys they spot in bars. (Derek talks about Mark a lot and Meredith pretends to be annoyed.)

So you could say Meredith is a bit taken aback when Derek pages her 911 in the middle of the night to ask her to be his fake-date for Thanksgiving.

His explanation?

"My mother is coming to visit."

* * *

It's Addison's third Thanksgiving as a resident. It's her fourth - fifth? possibly sixth - Thanksgiving she won't be spending with her family.

Except, she will, in a way, if you count a baby-bi disaster orthopedic surgeon, her perky blonde girlfriend named after a battleship, a pair of boyfriends who probably use a gallon of hair gel a week between the two of them, and a tiny but mighty fellow resident who's really just there for the food, as family. And Addison does.

So, she may not be spending Thanksgiving with her drunk father and neglectful mother (or her brother, she notes dully), but she will be spending it with people she holds close to her heart.

With a little twist, apparently.

It started like this: In September, Addison and her friend Mark (even though they'd both rather be on scut for two months straight than admit they had any kind of mildly affectionate terms for each other, besides "loser" or "idiot") made a bet; whoever could go longest without touching themself, wins.

(She had complained, of course, that it wouldn't be fair since Mark had Derek to  _ touch _ him and she had no one, if she didn't bother picking them up at a bar first, but Derek assured her smugly that it would be a fair deal. Mark looked like a deer in headlights, but then Derek assured Mark that he could still touch  _ him _ , which is when Addison excused herself from the conversation. But anyway.)

Win what exactly, that had been unclear, even after Addison caved in October.

Around mid-November is when Mark had started having that smug look on his face around her. At first Addison figured it was because he was finally getting some again, but oh had she been wrong.

It ends exactly where we left off - with Mark turning in his favor, three days before Thanksgiving.

"You want me to do WHAT?!"

"You heard me."

Addison's facial expression had now gone from a combination of shocked and bewildered to straight up horrified.

"Mark, that's insane."

Mark just shrugs. "So? You owe me. We had a bet and you lost, so you owe me."

"I thought you'd want a free round of drinks, or a cup of that disgusting watered-down coffee or, or I don't know, ANYTHING but what you just said?", Addison deadpans.

"I'm unconventional. It's one of the things Derek loves about me."

As if on cue, Derek appears behind them and throws his arms around his boyfriend's waist. "Oh, do I?"

Mark smirks. "Yeah, you do."

"You're right, I do," Derek simply replies and gives Mark a kiss on the cheek.

Addison rolls her eyes. "Could you two stop being gay for a moment and talk to me?"

"Are you saying you're homophobic? Is that why you don't want to be my fake-date?," Mark questions. 

"And since you said "Could you two stop being  _ gay _ " and I'm bi, that's erasure, so you're also biphobic by extent," Derek adds thoughtfully. Mark snickers. Addison scoffs and decides she's had enough of this conversation.

"I hate you both so much," Addison says before turning her back towards them and walking away.

"Because we're gay?" Mark calls after her.

Addison flips him off over her shoulder.

* * *

"I'll do it," Meredith says. "But I have some questions first."

The couch cushions squeak as Mark leans back, prepared to let Derek do the talking.

"Okay."

"And I want a beer first," Meredith proclaims.

"Okay," Derek says again, and Meredith stumbles to the kitchen island and lays over the counter to grab a can of beer out of the fridge. She nudges the door closed with her fingertips and slumps down on the couch again before taking a gulp of beer and letting out a loud burp.

"6.5," Derek states dryly. 

"Oh, come on, that was at least a 7," Meredith argues.

"You guys are disgusting," Mark says and Derek leans in to kiss him. Meredith pretends to gag.

"Okay, so," she starts seriously, balancing the can of beer in the space between her knees. "What about Mark? I mean, your mom, are we just gonna tell her you're- what? Housemates? In this big… family mansion. And you're also roommates. And... bed mates." Meredith raises her eyebrows. That sounds so stupid.

"That's where she comes in," Mark says with a smug look on his face and nods towards the hallway. Meredith turns around.

In the doorway, there's standing a leggy woman with the most beautiful hair and supple lips-

"Doctor… Montgomery," Meredith half-asks, half-sqeaks.

"A happy hello to you too, Doctor Grey," Addison quips before gracefully taking off her high heels and slipping out of her coat. "And for the record, I do agree, 6.5 is adequate."

* * *

"Okay, is your mom homophobic? I mean, is that why you- don't-"

"No no no, it's not that," Derek immediately says. "It's just, you know… well…"

"We worry that she might be a little  _ too _ supportive," Mark explains.

"I'm sorry what," Addison asks, but it's more of a statement.

"Derek doesn't want to flaunt being bi because- well, various reasons, and, Mrs Shepherd…", Mark trails off, clearly trying to describe the woman without coming off as disrespectful. "Ah, let me put it this way. Derek has four sisters, and, when they got their periods, Mrs Shepherd organized a period party. For all four of them."

"Amelia's was birth control themed," Derek adds dryly.

"Did  _ your _ mom organize you a period party, Addison?"

"No, she was too busy cheating on my dad."

Meredith perks up and quips, "Oh hey, that makes two of us."

Addison smiles back, clearly surprised at not only by the other girl's statement, but also the light-hearted way she had said it in. Turning childhood trauma into humor. Endearing and relatable, she notes.

"But, wait, why do you even  _ need _ … I mean, can't you just both be single?," Meredith inquires.

"Have you  _ seen _ us?," Mark deadpans. "It just wouldn't be realistic."

* * *

Time goes by, Derek's anxiety goes up, Mark's teasing comes to a maximum when finally, the wretched day has arrived.

In the morning of November 25th, it isn't really Thanksgiving yet. Derek is assisting on a craniotomy, Mark prides himself with the fact that he has already given not two but three women a boob job, and Meredith is catching up on some paperwork. Addison's asleep, because who in their right mind gets out of bed before 10am on a free day?

It's when the clock strikes 8:30pm that Meredith finds herself hopping into the backseat of Derek's car, a tray of (store-bought, but if asked she'll say they're home-made) cookies balanced on her lap.

Mark insists on driving, which means that for the entirety of the ride, Meredith has to listen to Derek talk about lie detector tests and gift cards for sex shops and possibly leaving the country. 

"You're making a big deal out of it," Meredith comments the first time he stops talking to take a breath, about ten minutes into the ride.

"It  _ is  _ a big deal," Derek insists.

Mark smirks. "Wanna know what else is a big-"

"Aah- nope, no dick jokes. Straight guys don't make dick jokes," Derek interjects. "Wait, Mer, do straight guys make dick jokes?"

Meredith shrugs. "How would I know?"

"Well, you've dated them before, right?"

"I'm not sure 'dating' is the right word here, but I can attest to the fact that none of the straight guys I've  _ been with _ have made a dick joke to me," Meredith replies clinically.

Derek bobs his head, trying to make the best of that information.

"Wait, how believable is it that one of us sleeps on a queen-sized bed while the other one sleeps on the couch? Is that normal for straight guy housemates? And what about-"

"Dude," Mark interrupts, his voice about twice as loud as usual. "You catch the game last night?"

Derek blinks innocently. "Of course I did, we watched it together while snuggling on the couch, remember? And why'd you call me dude, sugarplum?"

Mark lets go of the steering wheel with one hand to facepalm. Derek laughs. Meredith shakes her head.

_ This is going to be so interesting _ .

**Author's Note:**

> oops, i just realized mer didn't actually have anatomy jane when she was an (older) child because she had forgotten her in seattle when moving to boston, but we'll just pretend she didn't bcs A, i'm too lazy to edit it, and B, i can't stand the thought of baby mer missing her friend 🥺🥺


End file.
